5 In Gibeon the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream by night: and God said, Ask what I shall give thee.
6 And Solomon said, Thou hast shewed unto thy servant David my father great mercy, according as he walked before thee in truth, and in righteousness, and in uprightness of heart with thee; and thou hast kept for him this great kindness, that thou hast given him a son to sit on his throne, as it is this day.
7 And now, O Lord my God, thou hast made thy servant king instead of David my father: and I am but a little child: I know not how to go out or come in.
8 And thy servant is in the midst of thy people which thou hast chosen, a great people, that cannot be numbered nor counted for multitude.
9 Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people?
10 And the speech pleased the Lord, that Solomon had asked this thing.
11 And God said unto him, Because thou hast asked this thing, and hast not asked for thyself long life; neither hast asked riches for thyself, nor hast asked the life of thine enemies; but hast asked for thyself understanding to discern judgment;
12 Behold, I have done according to thy words: lo, I have given thee a wise and an understanding heart; so that there was none like thee before thee, neither after thee shall any arise like unto thee.
13 And I have also given thee that which thou hast not asked, both riches, and honour: so that there shall not be any among the kings like unto thee all thy days.
14 And if thou wilt walk in my ways, to keep my statutes and my commandments, as thy father David did walk, then I will lengthen thy days.
15 And Solomon awoke; and, behold, it was a dream. And he came to Jerusalem, and stood before the ark of the covenant of the Lord, and offered up burnt offerings, and offered peace offerings, and made a feast to all his servants.
When I first saw Dr. P. and the rest of my team (Emily and Alethea), they spent two hours talking with me. In addition to other information, they told me how dangerous the syncopal events were and that were I to have another one, I should call 9-1-1 and get straight to the UMMC emergency room. This didn't make sense to me; I had told my pulmonologist about the syncopal events and she didn't seem to think they were serious; therefore, I didn't think they were serious.
So on that morning in April, when Joe was out of town and Alex was staying with me. I'm not sure how I got myself together every morning to get to work, but I could still do that. And. I had two syncopal events; I came to each time lying back on the bed, with Sydney licking my face. I had to take my 11-year-old Rosie to Canine Coach for her last day of training and get myself to the office!
I did successfully negotiate the traffic to Canine Coach and parked outside my office at the U. I spent the morning doing work and didn't have time to even think until lunchtime. I felt guilty for not following Dr. P.'s instructions. So, I did, what I thought was the next best thing: I called into the office and admitted that I had two syncopal events that morning and was now at my desk feeling guilty. Alethea listened patiently and then said: "You need to be seen in the Emergency Department and probably be admitted immediately." And I'm thinking I'm fine. You are being silly. I was the one being silly, for my response to Alethea was: "Okay. Is it ok if I drive myself to the Emergency Department? It's only 5 blocks away." She was speechless, at which point, I said: "Nevermind. I never asked you that question and I don't expect an answer." And then I hobbled out to my car and drove myself to UMMC Emergency Room.
Joe was on his way home; due in around 10pm. They admitted me and moved me to a room on 6C; by the time Joe arrived, I was pretty much 'out of it.' He stayed for a bit and left saying he'd be back early in the morning. The next day things started happening. And it's funny, I don't ever remember being given a choice, although I'm sure I must have signed consent papers somewhere along the way. Before I knew it, I was in interventional radiology getting a PICC line in my right arm. I had no idea what that was for, but they also took me to the cath lab and inserted a Swan-Getz line in my neck: Next stop ICU. The Swan-Getz catheter measured my pressures to see how I was responding to something called Flolan. My hemodynamics responded positively, so that was my new therapy of choice: IV Flolan. Except, really, I don't remember ever being given any other option.
Flolan is horrible. Not only does it have the twenty minute half-life, it has to be cooled at all times, even while it is being pumped into your PICC line. The side effects are horrific. To say I had a headache, would be an understatement. I had a constant headache that morphine didn't even touch. The Swan-Getz line was removed after 2 days and I was released back to 6C, I spent the next two days, curled up like a ball in bed and in total misery. Every fiber of my body ached. The jawpain and headaches were intolerable; finally, after several days of agony, they switched me to Remodulin. Remodulin gives the tolerance of a much longer half-life, and it isn't as strong, so the side effects, while still many, are not as severe.
I learned how to mix my medicine over the next week: What supplies I needed. How to mix. How to get all the air bubbles out of my syringes and cassettes. And was sent home with a big box of my monthly supplies and some vials of Remodulin. Still, I wasn't ever given a choice: Dr. P. said this is for the rest of your life. And I wasn't unhappy. He had saved my life. Had brought me back from the brink of death. And for this, I will forever love the famously bow-tied Dr. P. I'm glad he didn't give me a choice: because I don't think I would have chosen IV therapy.
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